Thomas M. Cain was the son of Rosemary Bullard Cain and Harold Cain, C.P.A. Born January 24, 1947 in Chicago's St. Bernard's Hospital, he attended the first eleven grades in Chicago.  In the spring of 1965 the family moved to Culver City, California, from whose high school he graduated later that year.

• He then worked in his father's bookkeeping business for a few years, taking college classes in the evening.  He enlisted in the army in 1965, returning to Culver City when he was discharged.   A skilled violinist, he also participated in several small musical groups of both blue-grass genres.  He then became a salesman for Keynote Music Company, taking full advantage of the opportunity to create an ever-growing collection of sheet music and of recordings (mostly classical).

His father then obtained a position in Texas, the Dallas area.  For some time Tom continued to work for him, again taking a few college classes on the side.  However, the illness and eventual death of Harold Cain meant the end of his business, he being the only Certified Public Accountant employed there.  Dr. Ila Davis, a client, suggested that Tom move to nearby Denton to continue more advanced college classes there.

He commuted for a short period, and finding North Texas State University (now the University of North Texas, UNT) compatible, he went looking for a room to rent.  Earlier he had attended a few meetings of G.L.A.D (the Gay and Lesbian Association of Denton), an organization founded by Dr. Edra Bogle, who taught in the English Department there.  The group was widely accepted in Denton, the Record-Chronicle newspaper even running a daily ad for a help line without charge.  This offered advice on anything from where to find a gay bar to psychological help for those in despair at their sexual orientation, and even some considering suicide.

On her arrival in 1970, Dr. Bogle had bought a house for her and her mother to occupy.   . When her mother died a few years later, the room was rented out to students as low-cost housing.  The most recent resident had just graduated; so it was now vacant and available for Tom to move in. Edra was  pleased to find a gay man, especially one who intended to major in psychology, to answer those phone calls when they came from men.

While attending college, Tom found a part-time job at Al's Formal Wear.   Since at that time all N.T.S.U. graduates had to obtain a teaching certificate, in 1981-82 he practiced substitute teaching at a number of area schools, giving a few music lessons (piano and violin) on the side.  His most intensive practice was at Little Elm I.S.D.  Upon graduating in 1985, he returned to Al's Formal Wear, now full-time.

Tom had always had some interest in politics, spurred on by the election of Ronald Reagan in 1976 and 1980.  In 1984 the Democrats were working hard to elect Jimmy Carter; evidence somewhat indicated the 1976 election had been stolen.  Tom became politically active, serving as a Democratic precinct chair occasionally, doing much block-walking and letter signing, but most importantly, taking his vacation one summer so he could go to Austin.  He stayed in recent Denton County Chair Karen Warwick Abernathy's apartment while she campaigned the state on behalf of Governor Ann Richards, for whom she usually served as scheduler.

His assignment was to instruct Democratic legislators (and as many Republicans as possible) in the changing public attitudes toward homosexuality.  Since the Stonewall Riot in 1969, and the Kinsey Report, several important events had occurred in Texas.  A Dallas man, Don Baker, who had been fired from his teaching job in the early eighties when a student saw a picture of him participating in a Gay Pride Week event, filed a case against the District Attorney challenging Section 21.06 of the Texas Criminal Code, and in August, 1982, Judge Jerry Buchmeyer declared 21.06 unconstitutional, thus legalizing such acts when committed by adults in private.

Tom's effort and the literature he distributed to the legislators proved successful.  For many years LGBTQ persons from numerous areas across the state who attended various state conventions told Tom and Edra (who were often there selling slogan and campaign buttons to raise money for the Denton County Democratic Party) how much more understanding and even friendly their legislators were than they had expected.

Edra retired in 2003.  Various changes in personnel throughout N.T.S.U. were altering much in the school  She had saved enough to be comfortable, and enjoyed doing occasional garage sales and flea marketing.  Tom continued for a while in his position at Al's Formal Wear, but the building in Denton where it was situated was bought out by another company, and there were also problems in the general administration.  Soon the company closed, to the great regret of Tom and his principal co-worker, Vicky Rohre, who had been heading another store in Lewisville.

When, a few years later, Tom came down with a serious case of heart disease, Tom and Edra  married so Tom could share the excellent health plan that U.N.T. staff and faculty and their families enjoyed, even the retired ones.  Apparently this was common practice, since a few years later when Dr. Bogle was testifying before a committee of the State Legislature on another matter, someone questioned this marriage.  The Chair, Letitia Vande Putte, quieted them, saying the plan had been intended to include spouses.

In spite of this excellent health care, decades of smoking continued to worsen Tom's health.  After the operation on his heart (which proved successful) he was prescribed various medications, which were of little use because now his lungs were the problem.  First the oxygen tanks worn occasionally became necessary more often; in a year or so their continuous use was required.  Calls to transport him to Denton Texas Presbyterian Hospital began, and became gradually more frequent and more lengthy.  Finally, in the early morning of December 24, 2019, in the presence of his wife and a few friends, Tom passed away.

He is survived by his wife; by his older brother Gordon, wife Dawn, and their sons Brandon and Geoffrey; younger brother Howard and his children Jessica, Emily and Victoria; and sister Kathryn, her husband Glenn Davidson, and their surviving children Bonnie, Adam, and Dennis.

Thomas's request to be cremated was carried out by DeBerry Funeral Parlor.  He had also asked for burial near his mother, and a place at Restland Cemetery in Dallas has been obtained.  When the weather permits it will be carried out.  There will be no public ceremony, at his request.